Pick one:
About me: Dennis Prusser, Graduate student in microbiology. My thesis is in mechanisms of neuroendocrine differentiation through pH-independent membrane fusion of Saccharomyces cerevisiae Trf-/Pol Sigma DNA Polymerase via alanine-scanning mutagenesis strategy. I enjoy indie-trance-dance music, and have a passion for Peet's coffee.
About me: Hi, I'm Desdemona Sofia Reynaldo Baumgaertner. I'm an illustrator, primarily children's books. I also teach illustration at our local community college. I live with my longtime partner in Bellingham, Washington.
About me: Del Monckton, Real Estate Appraiser, Toronto.
About me: My name is Farzaneh Mumtaz. I am a student at Semnan University in Iran. I am studying veterinary medicine. I am 23. My great-grandfather was author of the Persian Constitution. I have no interest in politics.
About me: Thijs Jol. I worked as a drafting engineer for Binkhuijsen Drafting Design & Innovation in Amsterdam for 27 years, retired in 1978. My wife and I traveled extensively in the following years, and fell in love with Mazatlan, Mexico, where we moved in 1993. I particularly enjoy birdwatching here, as there are some remarkably colorful species that inhabit the forests behind our home. I am 97 years old, and feel immensely blessed to have lived so very long.
About me: Maria Vasilda. I'm an executive chef by training. My native Portugeuse cooking is very special to me; however, I also have a strong interest in French-Vietnamese cuisine, and also Thai cuisine (my family traveled Indochina extensively when I was in my teens).
About me: My name is Honor King, I'm an unemployed Forth programmer. My specialty is embedded systems for large-scale farming equipment (threshers and harvesters, for example), but unfortunately due to family illness, I had to relocate to Bali where there is no large-scale farming (I need physical access to the equipment in order to live-test code variants). Happily single, but always looking for just the right girl.
About me: Hi, I'm Johan Maria Fliess. I'm a studio musician by trade. However my principal interest on Wikipedia is entomology. I have more than six thousand edits on articles about or related to bugs! I have loved all things bugs since I was a child. Yes, I know that 'bugs' aren't the only things entomologists study. :)
About me: I am Florent Brasseur, professor at the University of Antwerp, Belgium. I teach comparative english literature. My passion however is for Flamenco music; I have an extensive collection of vintage vinyl recordings from Spain.
About me: Eric Chen. I'm a fitness trainer out of Brooklyn, New York.
About me: I am Tonio Sousa, apartment manager at São Paulo, Brasil. I studied my English from television at america and BBC. My favorite of television shows is "Lost" but I also the reruns of "Friends".
About me: Rhys Cleasby, lorry driver, Leeds, UK. I try editing from time to time but the ugly americans are always reverting me, what do they know about Hyde Park for heaven's sake?
About me: Demitri Kazantzakis, Unix systems administration consultant, Peoria, Arizona, US.
About me: Harold "Hap" Roethke, autodidact, polydactyl (extra left toe), queer, chef, swimmer, sophist, agorophobe, filthy rich (dot com).
About me: I'm Asa Turnbull. You've probably seen me but don't realize it. I've been a character actor on television since the late 1970's, and have been in countless television commercials. I honestly couldn't say how many I've been in - thousands? But my face is an 'everyman' face, what makes me unique is that I don't look unique!
About me: Sandy LaGrange, single mom, 28, bookkeeper, Rapid City, Iowa.
About me: I'm Oliver Lange, I am a personal security specialist, focused on use-of-force training for executives. I teach both lethal and non-lethal methods (with or without weaponry, depending upon local/national codes). 34 and happily married to my high-school sweetheart, we have three boys ages 6, 8, and 11. Currently living in the Northeast but contemplating a move to Arizona or Nevada.
About me: Yes, I am Dr. Dhanrajmal Vishwa Khokhar. I am 47 years old, and I live in New Delhi. I work in oncology research, specifically lymphocyte mutagenesis. I have just this past month been offered a position with the University of British Columbia's Centre for Integrated Genomics, which I am very excited to be accepting.
About me: Pelle Enquist, 33, chemical engineer, working in adhesive research. Recently married, living in Lisbon, Portugal currently.
About me: Silva Bellingham. I'm studying marketing and business administration at UCLA. My mother is Armenian, and my tatik (grandmother) spoke vividly of her experiences during the genocide (she lived to 98 years old).
About me: I'm Marcy Tolbert. Native of Austin, Texas, I live in Vernon Hills, Illinois and work for the Rust-Oleum corporation, in supply chain logistics.
About me: Hello, I'm Rose Lodge, former mayor of Middlecrest, North Carolina (you won't find us on the map!) Our little town was never incorporated, and there's only three other families remaining here. Younger folks moved away, and us old folks are just dying out. The nearest remaining town is Old Fort, but if you really need anything more than groceries, it's a trip to Asheville. Blue Ridge Mountain history is my passion.
About me: Bogdan Hviezdoslav. House painter. Three children (divorced). Katowice, Polska. I play in the local football league, and my two boys play also (13 and 16). My daughter (9) loves to read books. I can hardly get her to put them down.
About me: I'm Patty Strachan. I'm a bartender in Melbourne, Australia, and yes, my big brother really is Andy of The Living End.
Answer: I'm none of them; none of them exist, they are all entirely fictional. Wikipedia (and Wikimedia) don't care who I am, or what I say on my user page. Neither should you.
Maritimus cum sis, fieri terrestris cave. —Publilius Syrus